Thursday, October 20, 2011

This is how they get you.

The first two things you learn when you become a student at the University of Michigan is that there is no worse place on this earth than Columbus, Ohio and there is nothing more loathsome than a Buckeye. While we all know how to get to Columbus (South till you smell it, East till you step in it), no one knows exactly what a Buckeye is. Rumor has it it is some type of deformed acorn.

Over the last few years a strange thing has happened. I have made a number of good friends here in NYC that are originally from Columbus, Ohio. They are all, despite what I had been told, lovely, smart people. It has made me re-think all I have been told. But now I wonder.

My friend Catherine, born and bred in the Columbus area, and a graduate of OSU, made me a batch of Buckeyes. Whatever they are in real life, Catherine's are, essentially, the greatest peanut butter cup you have ever eaten. A mound of smooth, rich peanut butter goodness enrobed in chocolate heaven. They are incredible. As I was eating one and thinking that maybe Columbus wasn't that bad after all a terrible realization creeped into my head. This is all part of their plan.

Clearly, they pick the best of the bunch and send them into the world to corrupt weak minded Wolverines. Not to worry though. I promise, as I eat each and everyone of these Buckeyes, I am thinking "Go Blue!" in my head.


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